I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.
(submitted by anonymous)
These stunning photographs, which look like a glorious late evening sky with dashes of pink and purple, are actually pictures of Japan’s largest wisteria (or wistaria, depending on whom you ask) plant.
This plant, located in Ashikaga Flower Park in Japan, is certainly not the largest in the world, but it still comes in at an impressive 1,990 square meters (or half an acre) and dates back to around 1870 (the largest, at about 4,000 square meters, is the wisteria vine in Sierra Madre, California). Although wisterias can look like trees, they’re actually vines. Because its vines have the potential to get very heavy, this plant’s entire structure is held up on steel supports, allowing visitors to walk below its canopy and bask in the pink and purple light cast by its beautiful hanging blossoms.
Image credits: Takao Tsushima
Parrot caught singing let the bodies hit the floor
I was so done when it whispered…I would shit bricks if I heard that when I got up to get a drink in the middle of the night…
“Let the bodies hit the….FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!”
oh my god he’s so into it
”?!” makes a sound in my head, but I can’t describe what it is.
you better recognize
you might not like what you see
but its so good for your eyes
I’m a root of all evil
you just the root of all whack
My rhymes are locking you up
cuz Orange is the new Black
A fork, knife, and spoon all in one
Chopsticks with a soup spoon
2013 we did it
YEA ITS ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL YU GO TO TAKE A BITE OFF YOUR FORK AND GET THE CORNER OF MOUTH SLICED OPEN JOKER STYLE BY THE KNIFE PART OF IT
do you want to know how I got these scars?
I have been waiting for this for 84 years
It is…how you say a…metaphor